how fast did 2014 go by? holy moly!
i wasn't going to write a new years post but i am a reflective type of girl, and when i am old and grey, i know my old self will want to reflect back on the end of my 20's.
this year was more than the little girl, with crazy hair and crazy dreams and a loud, very loud mexican family could have ever, ever, ever have dreamed for. i was insecure growing up… mainly because my hair was huge and frizzy, i was skinny and lanky, and i was a shy observer. only loud with my family and siblings, but when it came to friends i liked to sit in the background and laugh at other peoples jokes, follow what others were doing …. not because i was a follower but because i think generally when you come from a big family, you get used to just going with the flow.
i have always been like this. i don't like confrontation. sometimes i don't like to share my opinion. i like to make other people look good. i am a nurturer.
well, this past year all of that got thrown out the damn window! i only write this because it was huge for me. not just in my career, but personally. on january 1st 2014, i felt it… i felt the weight of the year coming and i consciously made my resolution "to stay grounded". remember here. those 3 words saved me. they saved my sanity. they saved me from taking my stress out on the ones i love. they saved me from insecurities and nerves… and most importantly, they pushed me to go for things, i never thought i wanted.
in 2014 i made these my words to live by. in the pit of my soul, even though i knew i would struggle to find balance with work and those close to me... and even though i know i needed a break, i knew and i firmly believed (and still do) that when hustle and heart come together, their unstoppable.
when i am old, i will look back on this year as one that i physically and mentally threw myself into the wind. from my first lighting line, to a collaboration with target, to partnering with other companies i admire, to taking a major vacay with my partner in crime, to design producing a home with nate berkus (yea, no big… and it was for miss oprah's best friend) wtf!!! it has all been a dream, and it still doesn't feel real. it almost feels like i am talking about someone else as i type this.
in the creative world that we live in, with the mass explosion of millenials and one awesome blogger and company after another, it's easy to forget what "you" have accomplished. i am not one to compare myself; never have been, but i would be lying if i said i didn't have nights where i lay in bed and look at other peoples profiles, other peoples' images online and felt like what i have accomplished is teeny, tiny peanuts. crazy, right? i know it's normal, but crazy!
this year my resolution is to "take root"… in my career, in love, in personal growth, with family and friends….
time is flying by. i have dreams just like you all. and i have this yearning to accomplish them all…not just one, but all. i hope you all have a beautiful 2015, filled with everything you love.
all images via photographer norman parkinson